May 2013
1 post
April 2013
1 post
March 2013
1 post
February 2013
1 post
January 2013
1 post
1/24/13
We put wigs on the statues to make them look like Mitt Romney.
December 2012
2 posts
12/27/12
I’m having second thoughts about this threesome.
December 19, 2012
I don’t want to have sex with all these people in our bedroom.
November 2012
1 post
October 2012
1 post
August 2012
1 post
8/21/12
I’m a flying turtle!
July 2012
1 post
7/18/12
I have a complaint.
June 2012
1 post
6/27/12
Please get a smaller journal.
May 2012
4 posts
5/30/12
There’s a giant sea serpent in our swimming pool.
5/23/12
Here’s a picture of me in women’s underwear.
5/16/12
We put these skeletons together to make it look like they’re dancing.
5/9/12
You turned into a couch.
April 2012
3 posts
4/18/12
There’s a UFO right behind us.
4/11/12
Your ass is fucking huge.
4/5/12
We’re headless praying mantises.
March 2012
2 posts
3/13/12
I’m turning into a goat.
3/8/12
Did you feel that?
February 2012
3 posts
2/15/12
We’re being invaded, Gary.
2/10/12
Happy hunting.
2/3/12
Our living room corn stalks are coming in nicely.
January 2012
4 posts
1/27/12
It’s a bummer that my last patient got murdered on my couch.
1/18/12
We have bikes instead of wings.
1/12/12
Has the giant bird laid any eggs?
1/4/12
And this is our guillotine.
December 2011
3 posts
12/28/11
I’m wearing a fake mustache.
12/20/11
I have a stomachache — probably from eating all this stone.
12/8/11
They look surprised to see alligators riding the subway.
November 2011
2 posts
11/16/11
There’s a hippo in our living room.
11/8/11
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 2011
8 posts
10/28/11
Stop carving yourself into the hedges — it’s weird.
10/24/11
The doctors say it can’t be removed.
10/20/11
This one’s not in the field guide.
10/17/11
These people are delicious.
10/13/11
Gary won’t shut the fuck up.
10/10/11
Our smiley face flag isn’t very intimidating.
10/6/11
Ah! A vampire!
10/3/11
Did you remember to turn the oven off?
September 2011
4 posts
9/14/11
We should go home.
9/12/11
I’m here to plunge your toilet.
9/6/11
Someone destroyed my courtroom.
9/1/11
Please don’t eat me, giant woman.
August 2011
11 posts
8/29/11
And this is a tank I had mounted.
8/25/11
Gary’s evaporating.
8/22/11
I have two desks.
8/19/11
You should have that spear in your chest looked at.
8/16/11
I have to go — I have customers.
